my mom told me that in high school she use to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad

(via unimportant)

326,545 notes


is that dirt on my computer screen or punctuation               .

(Source: doppelgender, via aychase)

356,537 notes


shoutout to the friends that still like me

all two of you

(via very-whore-couture)

500,731 notes


u know what the worst thing about being a girl is… is when another girl asks u for a hair tie, but its ur last one, but u can’t say u don’t have one because she knows its on ur wrist, so u give it to her, and then she says “oh i’ll give it back!” knowing damn well she won’t, and u sit there sad because now you have to go buy another pack of hair ties that u know ur gonna lose by the end of the month

(via very-whore-couture)

173,466 notes


when you forget theres homework due tomorrowimage

(via d-emu-re)

211,724 notes
108,720 notes


Shoutout to every black and white cat named oreo

(via fearingdreams)

175,487 notes

The beginnings of a drug lord.
160,745 notes

Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.


"talk dirty to me"


(Source: blogfrenzy, via d-emu-re)

116,305 notes



"wake up we gotta go"

(Source: lesterbangs73, via d-emu-re)

267,413 notes
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